Apr 5 : A fish with $165 to burn

Hi there fellow fish. I am 30-something male from the UK, and I am a losing online poker player. Do not adjust your screens, you read correctly - I am a loser at online poker.

I play mostly 1-Table Sit & Go No-Limit Holdem at Party Poker, with buy ins between $6 to $30. In the year or so since I started playing, I am about $1000 down. The inescapable conclusion from this is "I am bad at poker".

I am not completely useless - I would describe myself as a semi-competent fish. I am not a coin-flipper, pushing all in with any pocket pair, or raising with every ace (or at least, I am not any more). I have a reasonable grasp of the basics - playable starting hands, the importance of position, and what are reasonable raises and bet sizes. I also have a basic understanding of counting outs, working out the chances of hitting them, pot odds, that sort of thing (although on many hands you would probably not believe that I did).

So I'm not a complete fish... maybe one or two evolutionary stages up from that. I have many more stages of evolution before I can crawl out of the sea, walk on my hind legs and grow opposable digits (I hope I am not overstretching the analogy). Lets hope it doesnt take several hundred million years.

For most men, it is easier to admit that they are bad at driving or even bad at sex than to admit they are bad at poker (and by the way, I am excellent at at least one of those). But my secret shame is laid bare for you to laugh at - my track record from my first year of poker is a losing one.

"I am a losing poker player". Just a tinge of humiliation in admitting it. Not least to myself. If you, like me have to keep topping up your account with more funds then you are a losing poker player. Say it out loud. There are a hell of a lot of us out there. Don't be ashamed.

I invite you to join me on a journey that I hope will lead to me becoming a winning poker player - where my bankroll grows over time, and (angels sing in the background) I can even withdraw money every now and again back into my bank account. It may take a while to get there. I am humble enough to believe there is a possibility I will never get there. But I'm willing to try. Every journey starts with a first step (fill in your own cliches here).

I'm planning to read some books, learn probabilities properly, all that stuff. I want to be a winning player - not professional good, not do it for a living. Just a solid, consistent winning poker player who on his day can give most players a good game, with or without the cards. I don't particularly plan to play live - although if I did somehow fluke a win in a WSOP qualifier I would soon change my mind. At the moment, just making a consistent profit at these low stake levels online is my only goal.

If you are at the same stage of of your poker development, I welcome you to join me and post comments to this blog. We'll compare notes. Hell, I may even bump into you on Party Poker and give you some of my hard-borrowed money.

I'm planning to document my emotional highs and lows, and the highs and lows of my bankroll, which stands at a whopping $165 at the outset. If you are really kind, you can point out my errors and shortcut the journey I am on.

Ambitious fish of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chips.